You remember that old commercial for the Army: “We do more before 8 AM than most people do all day”? I want to know who were these people they were referring to, because by 8:20 AM I’ve made bread dough, put Lilah on the toilet to pee, given her breakfast, showered, given four-year-old Benjamin his iron drops, reminded Lilah to eat, given Benjamin breakfast, made a different breakfast for Zachary, reminded Benjamin to eat, reminded Lilah to eat, administered Lilah’s inhaler, replied to seven emails, reminded myself to eat, put Lilah back on the toilet to poop, brushed three sets of teeth, enforced the making of three beds, helped Lilah into her days-of-the-week underpants and Minnie Mouse dress, pressed down the now-risen bread dough, and sent everyone out to get into the minivan, usually with at least one child still gripping part of breakfast.
When I return home at 9:05, the house is quiet. The cat is napping, the children are gone, and the bread dough has finished its third rise. I press it down again, then form half of it into a loaf. The other half I roll flat, brush with butter and maple syrup, dust with cinnamon, and roll up. I slice it using thread, then place the cinnamon rolls onto a cookie sheet to rise once more. Those are the calmest thirteen minutes of my day.
By the time I sit down at my computer, it’s 9:18. I’d like to say I then jump right into work, but see I have to check email and look at Facebook, where there are links to interesting articles and lots of status updates I need to give the ol’ Thumbs-Up and then another email comes in and suddenly it’s 9:39 and I’ve not gotten any work done for the day. I need to pick my two youngest children up at noon.
Raise your hand if this story sounds familiar.
Yep, I thought so. Whether you go to an office or work from home or scale cliffs after dropping your kids off at school, my guess is you’re trying to feed your family healthy food while juggling family and work and maybe every now and then exercise. Or at least remembering to brush your own teeth.
That’s why I wrote Cooking on the Edge of Insanity, my collection of essays and recipes. We crazy people need to laugh at ourselves now and then.
Emily Rosenbaum is a writer, mother and all-around lunatic living in Baristaville. Her collection of essays and recipes, Cooking on the Edge of Insanity, is available for Kindle and Nook.
Maybe it’s me, but I’ve about had it with all the “Mommy-blogs,” cook books, memoirs and musing on life with kids, like without kids, life in general of EVERY suburban mom- and some dads- who decided to quit work and “stay home.”
Enough. Not everyone is so damn special. No one cares to hear about your “day,” or how you “get by.” WHO. CARES. ?. Geez, I thought teaching kids who grew up in a world were everyone got a trophy was a pain in the ass.
These are adults writing this dreck.
(I guess this was to be expected from so many highly educated women, leaving work to stay home who quickly find that they are bored and want to work, but not in an office away from the kids…)
(Sorry about my tone. But every day seems to bring a “new” site/book/thing that is no different than most.)
Please feel free to criticize me. Please feel free to throw jabs at me, to call me “every suburban mom.” Please feel free to call my writing “no different than most.”
After you have read my writing.
Clearly, you did not even read this post, because your comment is inaccurate. I happen to be a work-from-home mom, as I indicated. Many, many parents I know are wearing myriad hats. For the record, “Professor,” I have a doctorate and opted out of academia because I wanted to write more meaningful stuff. Do feel free to read my current work, as well as my published academic articles, and let me know if I have succeeded.
However, that is beside the point. Parents who stay home are just as interesting as anyone else. Their writing is not automatically “dreck,” I promise you.
Sorry, I won’t be reading your book. I’m uninterested in the subject because it’s been covered in such great quantity and detail already (I know: your story is different and your style is unique).
But I’m curious, you left academia? HUH??? A well paying, respected 9-month job that doesn’t require heavy lifting? And you left so you could write more “meaningful” stuff? WOW, that’s a first. Good for you! Really, I know too many who stay in academia because it’s easy, pays well and… doesn’t require heavy lifting. Me? I LOVE TEACHING and working with students, so I look forward to EVERY day I teach.
Seriously though, I mean no disrespect. I was only commenting on the sheer number of the category/genre (is it a genre yet?).
I hope you sell a lot and find a way to maintain your sanity. Oh, and where is hubby during your crazy mornings?
Again, feel free to read my work or even click over to the website for the book before you judge. You should never make assumptions about someone.
My husband? You’re assuming I have a husband.
Profwilliams, you seem confused about the definition of the word “sorry”, it is meant to convey regret. I feel reasonably confident pointing out that you don’t feel regret over, either your “tone”, the fact that you won’t be reading this book or even your disrespect, and let’s all be honest here, intended or not, you have been nothing if not disrespectful. You seem to have trouble with definitions, so I’ll help you with this one, too, it means a lack of respect.
I especially enjoyed your argument against reading it based on the fact that the subject has “been covered in such great quantity and detail already”, I wonder what subject you teach if your threshold for interest requires very little to have been covered about it. Do you also not read books on history, or English, or love, or human conflict or sex or food? I feel badly that your world is so limited.
I will fully disclose that I know Emily and that’s the reason I came to read this article. Why did you come here if it is something you have no interest in? If it was to rail at the world, very few people will care. If it was an attempt to curb the growth of “Mommy” blogs, understand that it will not have that effect. If it was simply to make Emily feel bad, please understand that you don’t have that kind of power, and shame on you for trying.
It stands to reason that not every topic appeals to every reader. This does not mean it is “dreck” or negate it’s value to those for whom it is intended. For instance…I don’t find “My opinion on everything; stunningly obtuse commentary by a self-important, bloviating jackass” particularly interesting, but I’m sure there’s a market for it.
I hate to point out the obvious, but I wouldn’t go to a website that caters to self-important bloviating jackasses, since the subject matter doesn’t interest me. Why then, would someone who is uninterested in parenting and domestic pursuits come to a site such as this and castigate the author of a piece that was written specifically and, I might add, appropriately, for the parameters of the venue? I suspect “Professor” Williams is one of those oh so commmon internet breeds; the career pot stirrer. Honestly? I’ve seen better. Really ho hum effort “Professor”.
I suspect “The Professor” might be harboring a simple “Those who can do, those who can not teach.” grudge towards Ms. Rosenbaum and her book. Why else would she choose to attack her on such a personal level? Maybe it’s you that feels like “No one cares to hear about your “day,” or how you “get by.” How very sad.
Life is too short Professor Williams, if it doesn’t appeal to you move on and take your negativity with you.
YIKES!!!
@ mhallion- You are wrong. Simply stated. I did feel regret for my tone, which is why I said sorry. That you (standing in for your friend, did she know you were going to stick yourself into this?) were so rude as to suggest that I felt something otherwise tells me more about you than anything else here.
I tried to express my regret to emily by apologizing and trying to clarify my tone since reading words here lacks the emotional quality that hearing them would have. I did not want her to wrongly think I was attacking her, or minimizing the tremendous effort it takes to write a book. I was saying SORRY. Something we teach kids to say when we believe someone’s feelings may be hurt.
But I guess that wasn’t good enough for you, which forced your rude but-in. I only hope that emily understands I was serious in my efforts to say sorry- WHOOPS….. I said it again…
@ emily, I didn’t assume you had a husband, I READ the “About” on YOUR blog where you state: “I also don’t write about my husband or our sex life.” Or is that not true?
@ blogantagonist, I have no idea what your talking about. None whatsoever. I read it 4 times and still have not a clue.
@ not a jersey girl (to me, this is a negative as I LOVE Jersey girls!) You made me laugh out loud with “attack her on such a personal level.” “Such” a personal level? I said I didn’t care for the genre she’s writing, how is THAT personal? I didn’t say she’s ugly and her mother dresses her funny. C’mon.
So I won’t apologize because, I guess Elton John was wrong, Sorry is NOT the hardest thing to say. In fact, it’s too easy and doesn’t forgive me for committing SUCH a great horror here. To question a genre!!! Just saying it makes me feel full of shame.
Sorry.
Profwilliams, thanks for your response, I appreciate both it and the opportunity to clarify my statement. First of all, no, Emily didn’t know I was going to “stick myself into this.”, but I did think it was important for you to know where I was coming from. I hope that my “rude suggestion”, told you that I stick up for my friends, when I feel that someone is attacking them. I’m not sure what else it could have told you.
I did make a mistake in my comment that I would like to clear up. I made it a statement of fact that you don’t feel regret. I meant to say that it doesn’t seem like you feel regret, instead of stating that you don’t. I misspoke. I still hold to that tenant, however. It truly doesn’t seem that you feel any regret and that you are using the word sorry as a shield that allows you to attack something and then be shocked when people find the statements offensive. I’m not sure why you would even make a statement like “Enough. Not everyone is so damn special. No one cares to hear about your “day,” or how you “get by.” WHO. CARES. ?.” If you ultimately regretted it.
My response was, as you pointed out, rude. I felt it was in keeping with the tone you had established in the passage I just quoted. Using all caps and emphasis periods between words to say “who cares”, in response to a small piece about someone who wrote a book, doesn’t convey a civil tone or regret, neither does referring to it as “dreck”, we can quibble over your intended subject, this book or the genre as a whole, but the statement was made in direct response to the existence of this book. I also seems, to me, like a personal attack and intended to minimize “the tremendous effort it takes to write a book”.
I might be wrong, I often am, and more than happy to learn from my mistakes. If you could let me know the true purpose of your posts and what you hoped to get out of them, that might go a long way to clearing things up.
Sorry. I’ve written what I think and spent about enough time with this one as I care…
Enjoy the nice weather!